Okay Fine Whatever

I looked in a mirror to remember all the things you loved about me but I had to blink twice to manually adjust my lazy eye from its side quest. A symptom of conflicting ideas, one of astonishing greatness worthy of admiration and one of cosmic banality doomed to live its best days in the friendzone at the toxic intersection of unfuckable and irreplaceable. I saw more deeds than features, more of those epic memories and mementos that enhance the idea of a person rather than actually seeing a person them self, and it made me think that maybe I’ve been doing the whole looking in mirrors thing wrong all these years. Instead of rehearsing smiles and analyzing asymmetries, the whole process was a malfunction from the beginning.That’s probably why my eye trails off so willfully. It sees there is nothing here to see. It looks elsewhere hoping for the rest of me to follow. A compass that rebels from the magic of its own magnets. Looking at it in reverse (not unlike a mirror), it’s like I’m learning for the first time why God gave us sight. And maybe that seeing each other was more important than seeing yourself. And maybe being seen actually affects how well it is you see everything else, that even a message being left on ‘seen’ is okay enough to be heard, to be felt. And it’s fine to want to unsee things. Some images are too heavy to love for whatever reason. And some eye balls don't pull their weight.